See the People

Monica Walton
Aug 8
6 min read

Updated: Aug 11

My first working title for this post was, "People are People wherever they are!" This sounds a bit like the opening of a Dr. Seuss book, but it's where I landed after my recent tour of Ireland. I've been blessed to take a few trips outside of the US, mainly thanks to my children, who have interests and activities above and beyond my imagination. Each trip to new places makes me want to return and explore more places. I try to embrace the local culture and cuisine, and enjoy the festivities. I think it's the best way to get to know a new land.

While the food, scenery, and accents are definitely different in each country, it's the people that make the difference. My trip to Ireland was for my pure enjoyment, not to support a child's milestone or adventure. This time, I was immersed in sightseeing and getting to visit with the locals. It was by far the most relaxing vacation I've ever had.

One of my traveling companions asked if I was journaling so that I could write about the experience. But I chose not to keep a daily diary. Rather, I soaked each day into my heart and let the moments decide which would become memories. It's a poetic country, and when I returned home, I wrote this poem.

***(scroll to the bottom to see a sampling of my vacation photos)***

What stood out the most in Ireland?

I've been home for one week, and as I reflected on what stood out the most — I realize it's the people. They have a delicious accent and they love life! They create beautiful gardens and scrumptious meals. They honor the past, embrace the present, and nurture the future. They graciously welcomed me into their homes and shared what they love most about Ireland. Every place and story is connected to family. I met siblings and children and grandchildren and nieces and nephews and friends and neighbors. I wanted them all to follow me home to enjoy a big gumbo with my people.

People are People wherever they are.

Regardless of our language or accent or culture, people are the same at our core. We are all created in God's image and doing the best we can to live and love. We celebrate Sundays, birthdays, weddings, and successes. We share family stories and root for our teams, and train our children to cheer and play along. We burst with pride and joy in the good times. We suffer heartaches and illnesses that drop us to our knees in sobs of great sorrow. It's the roller coaster of highs and lows in life.

One family I visited in Ireland was riding an unthinkable roller coaster. This sweet family with two grown sons was preparing for the younger one's wedding. The elder son is married with one toddler boy, and his wife had just given birth to their second child, a precious girl with a head full of hair and rosy skin. She had a healthy pregnancy and birth, and all were thinking the biggest worry was adjusting to life with two small children, and getting everyone ready and to the wedding on time. Life was at its highest for the whole family. So much to celebrate! But one week after giving birth, the young mother became seriously ill and wound up in the hospital. The prognosis is not good, and her care will be extensive. As you can imagine, they were struggling to wrap their minds and hearts around such a shocking situation!

It made me think of how easily that could be any one of us. That train of thought always leads me to question myself. Am I living my life each day in God's love and with the joy of the Holy Spirit? Am I living in such a way that nothing will be left unsaid should I be swept up in a tragedy? Do the people in my life feel seen?

Do you feel seen?

in your home?

in your office?

among friends and neighbors?

How well do you see them?

All people deserve to be seen and heard. It's easy to turn away, cross the street, take a different route, avoid conversation. It's easy to scroll on our phones, instead of engaging with others in the room. Honestly, I believe most people don't realize how often they do that. I've been working on myself to be more present when I'm in the presence of others. I try to remember to silence and tuck my phone away when I have a visitor, when I'm sharing a meal, when I'm in a meeting, or just sitting with others. I don't bother silencing my phone for church and special events, rather I turn it completely off. It keeps my focus on what's happening in front of me.

More times than I care to count, I've found myself to be the only one in the room not on my phone, and no one else noticed. Every other person in the room was in their own little virtual world. It's awful to feel so alone when you're in the midst of other people. Sometimes I think our world would be better off if we didn't have such easy access to so much personal entertainment, because we're losing our ability to be present.

This week, the Church celebrated The Transfiguration of the Lord, when Jesus took Peter, John, and James up a mountain to pray with Him. Scripture tells us the boys had been snoozing (like I have done a time or two while praying the Rosary — can you relate?). Thankfully, they woke up to see Jesus in His glory, conversing with Moses and Elijah about what was to come in Jerusalem. What if Peter, John, and James had been watching a TikTok video or scrolling through Instagram and missed the miraculous moment happening right in front of them?!?!

For many years, I had been one to always have my phone nearby, even when in the company of others. I would put it on vibrate upside down on the table, just in case. Just in case of what? I now wonder.) When I'd hear or feel the vibration, I'd do a quick check. It felt harmless — until our phones began tracking screentime. I was appalled at how much of my day was recorded as looking at my phone! Now, if I'm not alone in the room I only have my phone out if I am awaiting something truly important and urgent. Which is very rare, if we're honest with ourselves. If I am not awaiting news of an impending birth or death, or if the notification will not require my immediate action, then it can wait until there's a break in conversation or a transition in whatever it is I'm doing.

I don't own a smart watch, and I'm not interested in owning one because I've grown weary from observing other people constantly checking their watches to see what is buzzing in. Someone can be mid-sentence when the person across the table or next to them gets a text or news alert, and they glance down to see whether it's worth picking up their phone to read the whole text or not. The other person has to wait and see if their friend finds that message more important than what they were saying when the notification interrupted.

We just can't help ourselves, our curiosity no longer knows how to wait. Most people probably aren't aware of how many times they glance at their watch — even in Church. If asked, the majority would likely say that what is on their phone or watch is not more important than their relationships. But, isn't that the message we are sending when we allow a device draw our attention away from the person in front of us or from Holy Mass?

It wasn't that long ago that we could only get updates from the printed newspaper and on the morning and evening news on TV. That was plenty of news. Remember when we couldn't speak to someone on the phone unless we had access to a landline? The world managed quite well. We are learning that all of this technological overload is not good for our health or our relationships. Now, we can set apps to only send reminders once or twice a day. Isn't that enough?

What do you say? Let's relax a little. Put away our phones and take off our watches so that we can truly be present to those in our presence.