On Being Present…

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This post doesn't have any fancy graphics. It's just plain talk between you and me. So, grab a cup of coffee or tea and let's chat.

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Are you truly present to people or doing things in the presence of others?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. It's an important distinction and worth reflection.

Are you truly present to people or doing things in the presence of others?

I've become more aware of people sitting in the company of others with little or no engagement. Nothing would change if they were in a room all alone. But the thing is, they're not alone. We are becoming disengaged humans. Next time you're out and about, try looking up from your screen and checking the people around you. You'll notice it too.

People have become accustomed and feel compelled to check their phones numerous times throughout the day and into the night. Guilty as charged! Nearly all of us do it. When I was playing outside with my grands this week, I had memory flashes from when my eldest children were young. Time with them was free -- no distraction from phones. We still had a landline as our primary phone, and cellphones were used to make and receive emergency calls when driving. They weren't yet handy-dandy all-in-one phone/messenger/camera/computer gadgets. Callers had to leave a message and await a response. It was the norm. Fewer situations were considered urgent in those days. True emergency calls were reserved for 911. My now-grown children can't fathom it. A sense of panic hits them just thinking about it. The world they know demands immediate information and contact with others. Honestly, it unsettles me. I don't think most people are aware of what frequent screentime robs us of. But that doesn't mean we can't become more aware and make adjustments.

My younger self knew many, many blessings and great happiness. I have reached a phase of life where I know the blessings of a slower pace of life and the grace that comes in silence. I have come to know true peace and true joy come from a deep, abiding relationship with the Lord.

We, as Christians, are responsible for bringing the Peace and Joy of Christ to the world. Peace doesn't reside on our phone.

Joy isn't manifested by taking in more data.

When we have a phone in our hand, pocket, purse, or at our fingertips, we are less attentive to the people in front of us. We are dependent on our phones and feel lost without them. They take far more than they give. It especially breaks my heart when I see parents allowing their phones to occupy the space between themselves and their children.

This week, I took my young grandson to a 'You and Me Toddler' Gymnastics Class. An adult has to accompany the children as we assist them with the different stations. We wound up in the rotation behind a mother who was constantly distracted by her phone. Consequently, her son couldn't complete the tasks and was basically playing on the equipment. I told myself to give her some grace; perhaps what was on her phone was very, very important. But they didn't rush out of the gym during or immediately after the 30-minute class, so it wasn't an emergency. I wonder if she would say those messages that were commanding so much of her attention were more important than engaging and enjoying the class with her son.

I've seen it on playgrounds, backyards, ball fields, in museums, libraries, and more. Children, playing and exploring, or even sitting in a parent's lap, ticking away precious moments of youth that fly by all too quickly, while their parents sit on the sidelines with noses to screens, glancing up occasionally. They are unknowingly missing precious opportunities to play and bring carefree time into their relationship that is naturally heavily structured by rules and responsibilities.

Please understand, I'm not being judgmental. I'm lamenting times that pass too quickly, as I watch my babies now raising their own babies. I blinked, and they grew up. We see the same scenario with people of all ages. People sitting on their porches but not sharing life, they're scrolling through snippets of other people's lives -- many whom they don't know. How often do couples sit next to each other but look at their phones? When they speak, their conversations are often surface-level -- usually revolving around what they are looking at, or reviewing schedules and plans. They're not sharing who they are deep inside, how they are doing, or what they are feeling.

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Pause and Ponder ~

How often am I being truly present to others?

How often am I merely doing things in others' presence?

• when I'm sitting with family and close friends...

• when I'm sharing a meal...

• when I'm sitting in a meeting or presentation...

• when I'm at Mass...

• when I'm receiving Holy Eucharist...

• when I'm reading Scripture...

• when I'm praying...

• when I'm at Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament...

• when I'm checking out at the grocery or other store...

How many meaningful encounters have we missed?

We will never know how many times our children, family, and friends have wished we would look up and notice them!

We don't always get more chances to be present,

and regret is an impossible pill to swallow.

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I noticed that Chapter 17 of the Gospel of John is proclaimed four times this week. These words are begging our attention. Can we be truly present to them?

This chapter is often called Jesus' Priestly Prayer. He lifts His eyes to Heaven and speaks to His Father. The hour has come. Jesus has proclaimed God's love to humanity and will return to the Glory as before the world began. He prays for us, for all who believe in Him, that we may be made one with Him in the Spirit of Truth.

TAKE SOME TIME TO READ JOHN, CHAPTER 17

IT'S ONLY 26 VERSES AND CAN CHANGE THE WAY WE ARE PRESENT TO LIFE

Can we sit with them, undistracted, slowly taking in the words and inviting the Lord to speak them into our hearts? Picture Jesus in prayer with His eyes looking up to Heaven. He is truly present as He invokes God the Father, asking Him to bless us and be truly present to us.

I have given them the glory You gave me, so that they may be one, as we are one, I in them and You in me, that they may be brought to perfection as one, that the world may know that You sent me, and that You loved them even as You loved me. Father, they are your gift to me. I wish that where I am they also may be with me, that they may see my glory that You gave me, because You loved me before the foundation of the world. John 17

Notice: Jesus says we are God's gift to Him. Jesus, our family, and our friends are God's gift to us. They are the most important aspect of our life.

Let's be truly present💜